Star Wars Hell

For reasons that I really don’t want to go into, I’m now sitting BY MYSELF watching the third in the SW series (the third, which is now the sixth). This is the one I truly never wanted to revisit for three reasons: first, Jabba reaches new heights of disgustingness; second, the little scooter-riding monkey bears (Ewoks?) freaked me out; and third– the scene at the end where dead ObiWan and dead (now nice but butt-ugly) Darth are all glowing and jolly on the bridge. That was one of the most disturbing images I’ve ever encountered on the big screen, and I saw “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” when I was fifteen, during a triple-feature horrorfest in Bangor, Maine. Has anyone else ever noted the alarming resemblance between dead glowy Darth and ickDay eneyChay? Scary.

Anyway, I just had to go there. I mean here. Maybe I can escape before the monkey-bears and the walking dead appear. It’s too late to escape the slimy maggot, though.

So here’s a question to ponder: why do the females in Jabba the Hutt’s bar all have mammary glands? At least SOME of those sisters have to be silicon-based life forms. Are they trying to imply that silicon-based life forms would breastfeed their children? Because personally I just can’t go there.

Ooooo– now Jabba’s big nasty grunt-looking monster has Luke in his clutches, and Jabba has Princess Leia in a bikini — USE THE FORCE, LUKE!!! TRUST THE FORCE!!!